It's risky but easy to be a homosexual in this country.[Text by Mayank Austen Soofi; author's picture by Faisal Khan]
During my first trip to Pakistan in 2006, I found the country teeming with homosexuals. In the 20-hours long bus journey from Lahore to Karachi, a bearded missionary of Tablighi Jamat, an Islamic movement that advocates extreme austerity, advised me to convert to his religion. I politely nodded at his persuasions but was forced to vigorously shake my head when his hand started caressing my thighs. The massage was relaxing but the vibes were clearly sexual.
Later while strolling in the early-evening heat of Karachi's Clifton Beach, a charming kulfi seller got fixated on me. He promised to show me the "real" Karachi. I would have been a game if not his tendency to hold my arms a little longer than usual. Even that would have been fine, but the pressing and rubbing was just too disconcerting.
These were just few of the queer moments of my Pakistan excursion. While returning back to Lahore in Allama Iqbal Express train, a Bahawalpur trader suddenly confessed in the midst of our Musharraf conversations that he liked sleeping with boys! The ultimate was when an old Karachi Pathan, with kohl-lined eyes, escorted me to a seedy shop at Saddar Market and offered the pirated DVD of Brokeback Mountain at bargain rates. (I bought it!)
Such experiences appear unreal. After all the website of the International Lesbian and Gay Association quotes the Pakistan embassy in Hague making it clear that "the homosexual is not accepted as a decent individual, and homosexual acts constitute an offense punishable with imprisonment for life or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years."
Indeed it is difficult to conceive Pakistan as a place where individuals could be free to celebrate sex, and different sexual orientations. But that is what everyone seems to do. In his 2004 essay, appropriately titled The East is Blue, Sir Salman Rushdie claimed that more than 60 percent of Internet users in Pakistan visit porn sites. Unfortunately we do not have figures of Pakistanis who access gay porn sites.
Few years back a news story in the Boston Globe concluded that across all classes and social groups in Pakistan, men have sex with men. "In villages throughout the country, young boys are often forcibly "taken" by older men, starting a cycle of abuse and revenge that social activists and observers say is the common pattern of homosexual sex in Pakistan," the newspaper reported.
In fact, in the conservative regions of North Western Frontier Province it is socially acceptable for Pashtun men to take up young boys for sexual pleasure. But don't rush to fancy the country as some liberal San Francisco outpost where life is all about celebrating individual choices. Many homosexual relationships here are not a result of two gay people wanting to make love but consequences of aggression and abuse by the strong on the weak. It is less love and more rape.
In her acclaimed book The Dancing Girls of Lahore, British author Louise Brown who established intimate friendship with a Pakistani prostitute and her family made the following observation:
Homosexuality is derided in public, but it is accepted, provided it remains a secret. The men involved in homosexual acts don’t perceive themselves to be homosexual, and the men’s families won’t perceive them to be homosexual either...Having sex with other men or boys is not associated with stigma providing a man takes a dominant role in sexual encounters. It may even reinforce a man’s masculinity and status because he is sexually dominating others. It is the receptive partner who is despised and ridiculed.
Obviously chivalry codes exist among gays too. But even then if a homosexual lifestyle is risky option for men, it is unthinkable for women. In June 2007, the Lahore High Court sentenced two ladies in love to three years imprisonment.
Yet there are reasons to hope. Following the capture of Islamabad's bra-and-underpants clad Chinese masseuses by the dreaded burka-clad students of the all-girls conservative Islamic school Jamia Hafsa in June this year, Abdul Rashid Ghazi, who leads the man's school, drafted a new ruling. He declared, "If you want massage treatment, men should go to men, and women should go to women." Gay Pakistanis should gleefully catch the hint.
28 comments:
You are an idiot.
interesting, and as someone pointed out, funny too :)
Mayank,
I am sure you need some mental treatment. I was born and brought up in Karachi and within that huge period of time..almost 30 yrs, not a single KULFI wala nor a Tablighi guy treated me like that..(inspite of being fair colored and having sharp and catchy features).
This clearly seems that you are the one who must be behaving like a male prostitue.
Dear bro, don't try to portray a wrong image of pakistan. Its quite easy to make such baseless alligations.
Hope u'll understand what I mean.
I don't find anything untruthful or terribly insulting about this post at all. At least, I never think of reality as terribly insulting.
Based on the stories I've heard from Pakistanis I know, and heart breaking stories from Pakistani men I have been close to who grew up there, I don't find this that hard to believe at all. And yes, sadly, it does seem to be more about rape than it is love.
Pakistan is not immune to homosexuality, rape, abuse, and child molestation. No country is.
Kayleigh, my dear you are right.. no country is immune to these kind of stuff and human feeling has no borders or boundries, but how my friend "the author" tagged these things to Pakistan is not fair and actually not TRUE. My only concern is just to correct the central idea of this topic on the basis of ground realities so that people who haven't seen Pakistan more closely can not get a negative impact out of this.
The fact is that neither I nor any one from my friends' circle had such an experience what the author had during his visit to pakistan. I am living in my country for the last 30 yrs and i know what is good and what is bad here. Bus definately the homosexuality thing discussed here is not as serious as it was portryed.
I thank GOD that we are still far far far behind from our neighbouring country in homosexuality, rape, abuse, and child molestation kind of issues.
I don't see why everyone(well not everyone) is getting worked up about this. It does happen in Pakistan. As elsewehere in South Asia. Quit getting your panties in a bunch. I'm an expat Pakistani, and I've seen this kind of thing many times, from Karachi, to Lahore, to Islamabad, and to the Frontier, where this is rampant.
Okay, i think i came to the wrong place where every respondent has bad experiences of past..:-)
I'm a Pakistani woman so I cannot have had homosexual experiences with men in this country, but it certainly does happen. Nothing in this article is anything new to me.
I found your article interesting but I am sure you need to learn more about the country before you conclude anything.
TABLIGHI carrassed your thighs and in the indian subcontinent it is the way they speak when emotionally(Please note not sexually) you are attached to a person. KULFIWALA did put his hand around your shoulders and carrassed your shoulders and be sure almost 80% of friends in indian subcontinent do this as a freindly gesture. You spoke some DVD wala sold you a pirated version of a movie based on gays. I am sure that the DVD wala doesn't even know what is the movie based on. I am not saying that there are no gays in Pakistan as I don't know if they are, but I can definitely say that you need to understand a countries tradition and culture before you conclude anything. You have taken west and compared pakistan which is basically wrong.
Hope you understand.
I am a young gay male who is of Pakistani origin and lives in the UK. I have just returned from Pakistan,and heres what I've come to realise:
1) Pakistani men are prone to being very close to other men, however this is a cultural thing as opposed to a sign of sexual orientation. Whilst we in the West have notions of invading people's personal space, Pakistani's generally don't. Thus they are more touchy-touchy than us in the west! For instance you see men of varying ages holding hands in public and this is a sign of friendship.
2) Pakistani society is dominated by males, and thus you hardly witness interaction between men and women. Thus when you see men interacting closely (and this is the main interaction you see) your bound to conclude its homosexual activity!
3) There is UNDOUBTEDLY homosexuality in Islam, however theres no point getting bogged down in discussions on how widespread it is because its not as though you can hold a census and openly ask one's sexual orientation!!!
sadly, you've mistaken cultural behavior. I am quite familiar with pakistan and I assure you homosexuality is neither acceptable to the majority nor encouraged by anyone. You've blamed innocent people for your twisted perceptions of behavior and you should ask for forgiveness.
Homosexuality has been around for ages. It happens in every corner of the world - from a fumbled grope in a back alley of a nowhere town to the upper echelons of the rich and powerful who have access to anything and everything to iron out a particular kink. It occurs in Pakistan too. But like everywhere else it’s presence is kept secret, very “down low” if you will. The nature of the act itself is completely sexual in nature and has little to do with love – like a preference for a particular flavor of ice cream.
Referring to your sojourn to Pakistan, especially your encounters with Pakistani men and their particular flavor of friendliness, there is some truth in it. As many have stated above, men in our society are more touchy feely and flexible with their personal spaces than their counterparts in the west. Men and boys in this culture, be it due to early indoctrination about segregation between the sexes, show emotion and love by “petting” their friends. Sitting closely together, holding hands, sleeping in close quarters, buying each other gifts are small examples of how these young men interact in a community setting. These acts are not uncommon and are construed mostly as friendship.
*Mostly*
Homosexuality and homoeroticism have always existed and will always exist. They are part of the human nature. But repression of homosexual behavior is a sociological phenomenon. It happens in society and is caused through society. It's not even a question of culture - because in culture (as defined through fine arts, literature, music, play and dance) the love between men and the love between women always has been portrayed. As art always portrays nothing else than "the reality".
Noone would argue and say that there is no love between people of the same sex, would they? There is love between brothers, love between sisters, to your friends, to your colleagues, to your the boys in your team and so on. But if there is love, it can be expressed in different levels and many ways. From a light feeling to deep and devastating passion, from a simple touch to wild and explosive sex. Love cannot be reduced, you cannot put up boundaries, there are no limits to it, unless they are imposed by society. With love, you do not have a choice: it is all or nothing, including the sex.
Some blogger here tried to insinuate the "child molestating and abuse" - theme into the discussion... that made me angry. Because as far as I know it is unfortunately NOT only men molesting and raping boys but ALSO and MOSTLY men molesting and raping girls and women! Denial is such an ugly thing... it transformes love and happy sexlife into trauma and drama. One expression of sexual denial is rape and abuse. Denial happens in society. Do we need more of that??? In any sense? Anywhere in the world?
There is a german gay activist, Rosa von Praunheim, who said back in the 70ies: "Not the homosexual is a pervert, the circumstances in which he lives are perverting." That was sooo true.
Mayank, you're my personal hero - keep on writing!
well! pakistan has its share of Gays ! then so does India !
Its ur badluck that you ran into so many ! [:D] hhehe !
I think freedom of speech should be the basic right of every human and the author has every right to express himself. I am also very fond of India and have many Indian friends.On this occasion I feel Mr author you have actually gone a little beyond what I would refer to as just an expression but more of a condemnation of the general pakistani public. I am a pashtun from the North west and I think it was unfair to depict the common pashtun as a homosexual( rapist). I have nothing against gay people and actually have a very good gay bud but generalizing things this way was in my view unfair.
I admire you for the effort u are putting into this discussion as its giving pakistan more exposure( even though in a negative way). You have also said good things about pakistan so I know you are definately not anti pakistan.Respecting sentiments is important so expression of thought could be done without labelling most of pakistan as homosexuals.
As for people( my fellow pakistanis) calling you an idiot or suggesting that you need mental treatment.....they are just reacting to something that most pakistanis would find offensive( they are not very skilled at showing anger hence the choice of words)...I apologise on their behalf......
hello guyz.you shouldnt be so much harsh to him.actually he does not know about Pakistan.we must show him the real image of it rather friendly.
starting with the words that it is natural that we Pakistanis will react harshly but you may kindly forgive this harshnes(if we really behaved like that)and that Pakistanis are free of such things what the author thinks,Pakistanis have a clean mind and mentality.the behaviour you witnessed is a show of that clean mindedness.i am myself a Phsycologyst,and i know how people behave and what is there in their mind.the kind of "touchings" you have had was a show of that love(not what you mentioned) which a friend have for his friend.if you do not understand that,please consult a Psycatrist in your surroundings(i think in Delhi)and he will clarify you with the "situation".
(i think you saw a dream and that was not a real story-please dont mind i was joking)
i hope you will be satisfied with my words.
AIK NACHEEZ
I like it... the article... can't take a bit of literary criticism, can you girls?
boo hooo
(Proud Pakistani)
Yes, Mayank is very right. Karachi is also filled with lots of gays. If any karachits do not agree with this than he is living in fool's paradise.
its bullocks what others saying about pakistan. lot of haramis in pakistan then there are nice people too, very cultural good and bad like any other countries but lots and lots hidden homosexuals in pakistan specially pathans they luv fucking boys also they try on lots of guys.
Hi this happens all too often in Pakistan they guy is truly right I have been Pakistan on several occasions as I have quite a few distant relatives there! And there always guys trying to persuade me into sleeping with them , even if you say they say aaja mere jaan ik raat , sick! but neverthe less its a developing country and will be sorted out soon!
actually, i do believe that there are many gays in MANY countries, let alone Pakistan.
Being gay is a frame of mind, and not some disease, at least I think so.
What makes me sad is that the author just zeroes in on all the gay happenings there, and not anything else.. For instance.. there is nothing in the world that is ALL bad, right? Besides.. I have been studying Pakistan for sometime now.. the language, people and history. Its a country like any other. Perhaps a little corrupt, but then which country is not? :p
oh well.
Why do so much people get offended about this article? I have been twice to Pakistan, have seen men negotiating with male prostitutes on the street. It just happens as everywhere else. Because women and men in Pakistan are traditionally kept separted from each other, I think it is no wonder that males look for afection among their peers. And they should have no shame for it. Do you know that truck drivers and riksha-walas of Pakistan (and the whole Subcontinent) are considered high-risk groups regarding AIDS? It is because 49% of them declared to have had sex with another men (Agha, S 2000. Potential for HIV transmission amog truck drivers in Pakistan. In: Aids. 14(15):2404-6. Oct 20). Finally, homosexuality is a personal choice, so why to get offended? If you detest homesxuals and you are not one, don't feel blamed if others talk about it. And don't feel that your nation has been blamed: open minded people know what is here about. Relax. P.S.: I am a woman :-)
Mayank,
You are very wise, I am glad to see someone more open minded here, I agree with everything you said,
Dan
hi, im 18 and i am a gay muslim born in the UK. as for homosexuality in pakistan, my thoughts were also rooted in that Pakistan was generally a friendly country and this touchy feely business was men just being freindly and looking after each other.
however my recent trip to pakistan in july 2008 prooved to be quite an experience. 4 weeks into my holiday in pakistan my cousin so casually confessed how sleeping with other 'boys' and 'men', was a much more pleasurbale experience for him.
shocked and rather intrigued by his comments, i further questioned him about homosexuality in rural villages. suprisingly homosexuality seemed so normal and casual for him to talk about. he wasnt embarased about confessing anything and told me how men having sex with other men was a normal thing to do in 'our' village. i couldnt believe it, i was in utter shock, but somehwhat rleieved as to how casual he made gay life sound in pakistan. however he did highlight the consequences of getting caught in doing such acts, which i guess any muslim country wouldnt accept.
he made it sound like a big secret, yet his tone of voice was so normal and relaxed. obviously i was surprised as this was the first muslim i had met confesing to such acts.
however my experience didnt stop just yet. as my holiday progressed it seemed like my cousins descriptions were turning into reality. walking down the bazaarz of dadyal- azad kashmir, i noticed quite a few men looking at me in a seductive manner. whether this was their way of being freindly or me just getting paranoid and relating to my cousins descriptions, i just didnt know. it was exciting yet scary to explore this new revelation of homosexuality which seemed to exist in a country where muslims laws seemed to be entrenched in every corner of the country.
my holiday went on further and soon i was to get an answer for the paranoya which was circling my mind.
i was at my cousins house where we were spending the night. suddenly i caught him looking at me. he was tall attractive and seemed to have a very freindly aura about him, which pesuaded me to talk to him. after dealing with the usual 'first time' conversation, he told me how nice my eyes were! i didnt think of it as much but later that night wen every1 was asleep he told me he wanted to kiss me! i was in shock and i'l b honest i was shaking with fear and excitement. however my respect and family's dignity got the better of me and i refused him, stating that i wasnt seeking men. he seemed pretty upset and still tried his best. he even had the nerve to rub his hands through my hair but no i wasnt going to let a foreigner get the better of me. i resisted even though he was a stunning looking lad.
the next day was after he left all i did was just think about the words and the moments which i had shared with him. i guess i was excited about this new trend that was being created in pakistan. homosexual liberation in pakistan seemed to be coming alive!
so concluding, homosexuality does exist in pakistan and im sure when you pay a visit your self, ur curiosity will reach an end.
I have been to many countries and Pakistan is quite an eye opener -- unlike western countries, homosexuality is mostly hidden, but it is so common in Pakistan (especially among the Pashtun) that you cannot miss it. I am blond and blue and apparenty this combo really gets the Pakistanis going -- I was propositioned every day and every night. It is common for Pashtun men to have sex relations with boys. In the west this would be considered the crime of pedophilia but in Pakistan it seems quite accepted as long as it is not too obvious. There are boy prostitutes everywhere, especially bush stations. I have never seen anything like it. Definitely the queerest country I have ever been.
Dear Indian bro,
Sexuality exists in all societies since the early times .. so does it in pakistan. BUT one thing from this article is clear YOU RECEIVED/ACCEPTED all those SIGNALS for HOMOSEX very quitely. U just did NOT STOP NEITHER KULFIWALA nor Tablighi. And u accepted Karachi's pathan offer. Perhapes u accepted BOTTOM role with all or any of them.
You must be ENJOYING it....
Now let us know DID U ENJOY PAKISTANI BULLA...........
:-)
Hi,
Just read most of what's been said.
As a gay man I sincerely hope that Pakistan is just like the rest of this small world - around 20% gay and more if you take bisexuality into account.
I've been thinking of going to Pakistan for a visit partly becuase I find Pakistani men very sexy and if I do it'll be great if some make the firts move.
The only real problem is the religion - I am not just meaning Islam but all religions who preach "love one another" as long as it's only heterosaxual love. The Catholic church and the Bible Bashing West USA is just as bad in their intolerance. The truth of the matter is that religion in general does far more harm than good in this world - who knows maybe one day it might be eradicated completely...It promises love and understanding while delivering only hatred, hypocrisy and divison. (It will be interesting to see the nature of the replies to this posting if you don't believe me).
As for those that chose to mention child abuse - it is a well documented fact that worldwide the biggest abusers of children by far are heterosexuals. I am not saying that there aren't any gay ones - of course there are unfortunately I do not have statistics for male/male child abuse in Pakistan but would venture to suggest that if it is higher than the world average that some of it may be down to repression combined with peer and family pressure for males to get married and procreate whether in truth they are gay or bi-sexual.
By outlawing what in truth is natural inclinations you only serve to drive it underground but it will always boil back to the surface often in a less than healthy manner.
Now excuse me while I duck the barrage of stones....
This is an interesting article about Pakistan. I'm not from this country but i have lots of respect to it because i have a closed male friend from Lahore. He' s not gay he's a straight man , very nice and very respectful. What he shared to me about Pakistan was they are very strict regarding there culture and sexuality. Men can't have female friends, they can't easily date publicly with women so i think men there are very close with there male friends and these closeness can be experience thru touching hands, hugging each other and being sweet among men this can be mis interpreted publicly by foreigners and can lead to mis-communication and mis-judgement of characters. And of course from my opinion some friendship can evolve to deeper relationship like love between two men because of this closeness. There are many gay men not only in my country Philippines but also from all parts of the globe. But sexual abuse should be stop and it is something else but if it's not abuse its with love then I think it's ok...
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